Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
