Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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