So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize