i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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