Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
