why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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