i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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