So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
