I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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