GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
