after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize