so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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