His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
