i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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