i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
