Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
