So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize