I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
