the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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