Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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