So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
