You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize