Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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