I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
