I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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