but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
