People in love make me want to vomit
you would pick up someone in the library
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize