I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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