it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
