check it out our google latitudes are spooning
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
do herpes really smell.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
