I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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