Having a random hookup so left but love u
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
