Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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