There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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