trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize