i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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