I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
