her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize