i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
