Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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