Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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