I'm lost and stupid without you.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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