covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Pants 0. Shit 1.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
