Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
