Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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