i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize