Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
