pedialite and red bull = repair kit
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize