Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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