omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
