I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
