I got chris browned last night
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize