we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
