i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
