I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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