They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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