hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
