What a fucking waste of an outfit
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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