It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
