she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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