I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
