Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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