I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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