I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
