this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
