if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
