i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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