babies were throwing up all over the place
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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